Yap No 30

‘Leadership’ said Big O ‘that’s what it’s all about’

‘Oh joy’ I thought ‘he’s finally getting it’

‘I’ve decided to adopt a leadership stance on Libya’ said Big O ‘and send in the British and the French’

‘Wait a minute’ I said ‘can you please explain exactly how that is a leadership stance?’

‘Leading from behind’ said Big O ‘I’m better at that than leading from the front’

I groaned inwardly. My Big O leadership training programme had obviously been an abject failure.

‘What are you planning to do with Gaddafi?’ I asked ‘His problem is that after he’s been kicked out no-one will take him in’

‘What sort of a guy is he?’ asked Big O

‘He’s an absolutely barking egotist’ I said ‘who raves on for hours’

‘I know’ said Big O ‘he sounds as though he has all the qualities needed for success in Reverend Wright’s church’

‘I was thinking’ I said ‘that we might be able to develop him into a cartoon character called Gaddaffy Duck’

‘Very funny Bo’ said Big O ‘I suppose we could just send him to Cleveland’

‘Oh come on’ I said ‘he’s not that bad’

‘You have to concede’ said Big O ‘that I’m showing great leadership on the budget question’

‘Well no’ I said ‘you still haven’t decided how much spending you’re going to cut’

‘That’s not important’ said Big O ‘I’m talking about leading the world in debt and deficit economic management. I’m putting an end to the era of greed by a few and creating a debt which everyone can share in’

‘Very interesting’ I said ‘but what happens when countries who have lent us money demand repayment?’

‘That’s not how it works’ said Big O ‘We don’t pay them and they don’t pay the countries they owe money to. That’s how my brilliant strategy keeps the world economy in balance’

‘Genius thinking’ I said ‘By the way talking about leadership what are you going to do about all the radiation from nuclear power stations that’s floating around?’

‘I’m planning to set up an international Radiation Trading Scheme’ said Big O ‘which will be a cross between an Emissions Trading Scheme and a nuclear war’

‘What is another example’ I asked ‘of a successful application of your ‘leadership from behind’ technique?’

‘My healthcare programme’ said Big O ‘The key to its success was my brilliance in performing back operations. And I have to confess I got out a bit in front of myself in promising to close down Gitmo but now I’m totally behind it’

‘Is there an example of you currently leading from the front?’ I asked

‘Of course’ said Big O ‘when we go out for a walk I invariably take the lead’