As George W Bush was seated in his study down on the ranch in Crawford, Texas, desperately trying to think of a reason why he could claim Dick Cheney was a great vice-president, a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

Was it Donald Trump’s presidential bid going up in smoke or Charlie Sheen on another extreme high? No, it was Palinpower.

‘Hi George’ said Palinpower ‘hope you don’t mind me dropping in like this but I need your advice’

‘Sure Palinpower’ said George ‘so long as you realise that Dick Cheney’s not around to check whether I’m making any sense’

‘It’s like this’ said Palinpower ‘I’m undecided whether to throw my hat in the ring for the presidency. What do you think?’

‘Can I be absolutely frank’ asked George

‘Of course’ said Palinpower

‘I’m not sure’ said George

‘What do you mean?’ asked Palinpower

‘I’m not sure whether you’re made of the right stuff’ said George ‘like me and my old man’

‘Come on George’ said Palinpower ‘I love you dearly but you were a pretty average president’

‘Oh thank you Palinpower’ said George ‘that’s the first time anyone’s ever rated me higher than below average’

‘How do you think I stack up against Obama?’ asked Palinpower

‘ It’s absolutely black and white’ said George

‘Do you think my total ignorance about foreign affairs could count against me?’ asked Palinpower

‘I wouldn’t think so’ said George ‘I never found it a handicap. Let’s see, what are your main achievements so far?’

‘I installed heating in the public urinals in Wasilla Alaska’ said Palinpower ‘The folks said it was the biggest thing since frozen pees’

‘Pretty impressive’ said George ‘How do you rate your opposition for the Republican Party nomination?’

‘Well Newt strikes me as a cross between the Rev Wright and Dominique Strauss-Kahn’ said Palinpower

‘Mitt Romney’s a strong candidate’ said George

‘You have to be joking’ said Palinpower ‘he was responsible for a healthcare program that was an even bigger disease than Obama’s’

‘What about Michele Bachmann?’ asked George

‘A pale shadow of me’ said Palinpower

‘Wait a bit’ said George ‘there’s Tim Pawlenty.’

‘Who?’ asked Palinpower ‘You’ve got to give credit to Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump for having the sense to withdraw when they realised they wouldn’t have a hope in the primaries against me’

‘Look Palinpower’ said George ‘I’ve finally got my mind working properly. You haven’t got a hope of becoming US president but you’d be a shoo-in for president of the George W Bush Appreciation Society’

With that Palinpower was gone in a flash leaving George to ponder whether it was anything he’d said that had sent her off in such a huff.