As Felipe Calderon was attending to matters of state in his presidential office in downtown Mexico City a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

Was it the scheduled drug cargo plane to Florida or someone who had just eaten a bunch of jalapeno peppers by mistake? No it was Palinpower.

‘Hi Felipe’ said Palinpower ‘just dropped in for a chat if that’s ok’

‘Sure’ said Felipe ‘it’s an honour to meet you Palinpower. You should have told me you were coming so I could have arranged a Mexican Wave. What’s on your mind?’

‘Well Felipe’ said Palinpower ‘it’s about all these illegals which cross the border into the US every day. I’d be much obliged if you would stop them’

‘Alas’ said Felipe ‘I only wish I could. But our country’s more broke than yours so I can’t afford to do anything effective and besides if they stay here they’ll be unemployed’

‘But’ said Palinpower ‘the sheriff’s’s job in Ciudad Juarez is vacant’

‘I know’ said Felipe ‘but the trouble is it doesn’t offer longterm career prospects because incumbents are subject to the drug cartel performance review process’

‘You should order the drug cartels to employ them’ said Palinpower ‘If they’re going to be running the country soon it’s about time they adopted some socially responsible policies’

‘I’m afraid’ said Felipe ‘their only socially responsible policy is shooting people tomorrow instead of today’

There’s another thing I wanted to mention’ said Palinpower ‘It’s worrying that most of the Latino layabouts whom we send back to you immediately return to the US’

‘Of course’ said Felipe ‘Anyone arriving in our country from the US without proper documentation is immediately sent back. We can’t afford illegals in our country’

‘I’m absolutely outraged ’ said Palinpower ‘that most of the Mexican illegals who settle in our country are stuffing the place up by voting Democrat. Can’t you educate them better than that?’

‘Well that’s only logical’ said Felipe ‘because Republicans are against illegal immigration’

‘And it’s about time you did something to stem the flow of hard drugs into the US’ said Palinpower

‘Unfortunately’ said Felipe ‘I don’t have a cure for heroin and coke addictions’

‘California and Arizona’ said Palinpower ‘are both packed with Mexicans and it’s sending them bankrupt’

‘Join the Club’ said Felipe ‘Mexico’s been like that for years. The only thing keeping us going is money sent here from the US sent by working illegals and drug pushers. It is one of your country’s most generous foreign aid programmes’

‘I stand ready’ said Palinpower ‘to help Mexico in any way I can short of having to eat turkey in chocolate sauce’

With that she was gone in a flash leaving Felipe to consider what a fantastic drug courier she’d make.