Yap No: 18

‘What on earth’s gone wrong Bo?’ asked Big O as the results of the mid-term elections were coming in. ‘Why have the folks lost faith?’

‘It’s like this’ I said ‘if you spend a trillion on stimulating the economy folks get disillusioned if nothing happens on the job front and it all disappears without trace down the toilet’

‘But don’t they understand’ asked Big O ‘that I have to stabilise the economy before I can grow it?’

‘They understand’ I said ‘that to make it grow you have to fertilise it rather than stabilise it’

‘But surely’ said Big O ‘they must appreciate that healthcare was the greatest reform in America since we threw out the Brits’

‘They understand’ I said ‘that it’s not even the greatest reform since we threw out the Republicans. That was losing the US’s reputation as the most unpopular country in the world. We now rank in front of North Korea, Zimbabwe and Yemen’

‘Do you believe this election has been about me’ asked Big O ‘or did the Democratic Party have some lousy candidates?’

‘They were about what you could expect from politicians ‘I said’ but thankfully none of the new ones seemed as loopy as Barbara Boxer or Barney Frank. On the whole however when people think of the Democratic Party they think of you. They think of things like the BP oil spill’

‘That’s good’ said Big O ‘I really handled that well didn’t I?’

‘Well no’ I said ‘you handled it like you were the head of the Al Qaeda Environmental Destruction Agency’

‘But I really nailed Arizona over racial profiling’ claimed Big O

‘The trouble was’ I said ‘ that the folks didn’t think so. The polls showed they felt we’d already got a state called New Mexico and they didn’t want Arizona to become Newer Mexico’

‘But people must have been impressed by my promise to close Guantanamo Bay’ said Big O ‘and try the 9/11 masterminds in New York’

‘On the contrary’ I said ‘what the folks want you to do is close down Washington and try the 9/11 masterminds on Alcatraz’

‘But my support for that mosque close to the 9/11 site’ said Big O ‘will ensure it becomes a symbol of racial harmony arising from the ashes of destruction and despair’

‘The trouble is’ I said ‘it’s more likely to be seen as a symbol of those wonderful people who brought you 9/11’

‘I am absolutely confident Bo’ said Big O ‘that the economy will come back in 2011 and there’s a bright future ahead for committed Democrats like you and me’

‘I’m inclined to agree with you Big O’ I said ‘We won’t have to suffer the dead weight of Nancy Pelosi as Speaker, the Republicans will be throwing their weight around and reminding everyone what an unlovely lot they are and Michelle will overtake Oprah Winfrey as the most powerful person in the country. You’ll be a shoo-in in 2012’