Last week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was preparing to drop in on Gaddafi but then he heard that Libya could become a no-fly zone. So instead he flew onto a wall to overhear a strategic discussion between Bob Brown and Christine Milne, leader and deputy leader of the Greens. Here is his exclusive report.

‘Great news’ said Bob ‘Julia’s poll numbers are right down the toilet. The carbon tax is really stuffing her up just like we planned’

‘I know’ said Christine ‘it’s very exciting. I can’t wait till her poll numbers drop to the point where you make can your big move’

‘It was a brilliant strategy’ said Bob ‘although I say so myself, forcing Julia to go ahead with the carbon tax and making her so unpopular that now we’re her only hope of survival’

‘Isn’t there a danger’ asked Christine ‘that the faceless men will stab her just like Kevin?’

‘No way’ said Bob ‘I’ve made it clear to the Labor Party that if Julia gets stabbed all bets are off and the government will be history’

‘How uplifting’ said Christine ‘I can see it now, a happier more carefree Australia given new life through the carbon tax, gay marriage and euthanasia’

‘I was ropable about the government’s decision to go ahead with that pulp mill in God’s own country Tasmania’ said Bob ‘What we desperately need over there is more trees and less business’

‘Can you believe what Julia said in the US abut strengthening our ties with them?’ asked Christine ‘She used to detest the US as much as we do. It goes directly against our policy of closer ties with North Korea’

‘I shall have to have a stern word with her this week’ said Bob ‘to remind her who’s running the country’

‘We’ve got another meeting of the climate change committee coming up’ said Christine ‘I can’t believe how braindead the other members are. That dopey Greg Combet actually doesn’t want a carbon tax on petrol. Rob Oakeshhott will do anything I tell him but I think Tony Windsor has become a carbonoholic’

‘Never mind’ said Bob ‘on July 1st we seize the balance of power in the Senate, Julia will be history at a two percent approval rating and I’ll come out of the closet as the true leader of the minority government’

‘Oh joy’ said Christine ‘how do you think Julia will react?’

‘I think she’ll take it quite well’ said Bob ‘as long as I let her live at The Lodge and permit her stand beside me when I’m making major policy announcements’

‘Do you think the public will get upset?’ asked Christine ‘about us having too much power over her?’

‘The way she’s going at the moment’ said Bob ‘they’ll soon be begging us to take over’