I could tell Big O was in a good mood even before he broke out into ‘Oh What a Beautiful Morning’

‘What’s so beautiful about it?’ I asked

‘Everything’ said Big O ‘the unemployment numbers are down, the Republican presidential candidates are a degustation of dufuses and I’m going to get re-elected for sure’

‘Hold on a minute’ I said ‘as head of your re-election campaign I must caution you about complacency. In fact in view of your record your complacent attitude is like Ahmadinejad expressing confidence that he’ll receive the Nobel Peace prize’

‘What about Obamacare?’ asked Big O

‘Well the Supreme Court could chuck it out’ I replied ‘and Romney will claim he did it better’

‘Ok then’ said Big O ‘what’s my next move?’

‘Your campaign should cover all bases’ I said ‘My feeling is it’s time to try the power of prayer’

‘Are you sure?’ asked Big O ‘it didn’t work for Michele Bachmann’

‘I know’ I replied ‘but the Almighty in his wisdom perceived that even with divine intervention she wasn’t up to the job. I think he’d be more sympathetic to you because he’ll understand that with a bit more experience you might get the hang of it’

‘Do you really believe Mitt Romney’s got a chance against me?’ asked Big O

‘He’s definitely ahead of you in money management’ I replied ‘He rescued the Salt Lake City Olympics from financial disaster while you spent millions helping the Olympic movement decide they’d rather go to Rio than Chicago’

‘I think Michele will be a tremendous asset to my re-election campaign’ said Big O

‘There’s no doubt about that’ I said ‘especially if she stops telling Carla Bruni that life in the White House is hell’

‘Well she was right’ said Big O ‘It was hell for all of us while Rahm Emanuel was Chief of Staff. Can you imagine how hellish it must be living in Chicago right now? They’ll soon be pleading for Blago to come back. How certain is it that Romney will get the Republican nomination?’

‘It’s not certain at all’ I replied ‘that’s why I’ve been careful to unearth women who claim they’ve been sexually harassed by all six Republican candidates’

‘Good heavens’ said Big O ‘you mean there are women who claim they’ve been harassed by all six?’

‘Well I could arrange that’ I replied ‘if it becomes necessary but for the time being I’ve set a strict standard of only recruiting women who claim they’ve been harassed by one of the candidates. More than one makes them look like political groupies’

‘We need to give your re-election body an impressive name’ said Big O ‘like CREEP for Richard Nixon’

‘Good idea’ I said ‘I’ve got it. ‘Driving Obama to Govern More in America. DOGMA’