Just for Openers
It was reported that Newt Gingrich was trying to persuade his second wife to accept an open marriage where he was free to conduct affairs. Now he’s trying to persuade the electorate to grant him an open presidency where he’s free to conduct foreign affairs.

Nothing Left That’s Right
In the race for the Republican nomination Santorum is supported by evangelicals, Romney by vulture capitalists, Paul by the Tea Party and Gingrich by the Third Wives Club.

With Friends Like These…
The Taliban are increasingly enthusiastic at the prospect of talks with the US. Both parties are pissed off with being double-crossed by Karzai and Pakistan and are keen for a chance to double-cross each other for a change.

It’s All About Trust
Romney’s vision for the future of the US is based on the model he’s successfully tested in the Cayman Islands.

Last Man Lying Down
Republican Party strategists must be praying that the remaining four presidential candidates also withdraw from the primaries so they can start again with a fresh lot.