When Hillary made a surprise visit to Pakistan recently she found that President Zardari was really pissed off

Apparently he’s less than impressed with all the surprise visits his country’s been copping recently. The navy seals were a huge shock but Usama bin Laden had been there five years and hadn’t even bothered to get in touch.

He would have loved to pay UBL a surprise visit if only he’d known he was there..

But the president doesn’t seem to understand that if you make an unsurprising visit to Pakistan there’s the chance of attracting a reception committee dedicated to undermining the country as a tourist destination and making sure you never come back.

People thought not to be contemplating visits to Pakistan in the near future, either surprising or unsurprising, are the Queen, all international cricket teams and the entire population of India.

On the other hand there are still people who would love to visit Pakistan as soon as possible if only they are given the opportunity including Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Ratko Mladic, Gaddafi and the President of Yemen. Some observers believe that Sarah Palin’s bus is a good chance of ending up there.

No-one in Pakistan seems to be the slightest bit surprised when members of the Taliban and Al Qaeda turn up regularly but Surprise Terror Tours from the US and UK have not proved popular probably because tour members are usually arrested on return.

When contacted by USA Yesterday for a comment on the security situation in his country President Zardari said there was absolutely nothing to worry about and he was fed up with people taking shots at him.