As Walt Snerd manager of the Toy Travesties store was hard at work at his desk planning for the seasonal shopping surge a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

Was it Santa doing a trial run or the Christmas Fairy in full flight? No, it was Palinpower.

‘Hi Walt’ said Palinpower ‘Merry Christmas’

‘You can’t say that around here’ said Walt ‘we’ve banned it because it offends the locals. Who the hell are you anyway?’

‘I’m Palinpower’ said she ‘and I’ve come to bring the true spirit of Christmas back to Toy Travesties and stop an old gringe like you robbing the kids of their Christmas cheer’

‘I’m just doing my job’ said Walt ‘Our customers are largely an ethnic mix who don’t give a cracker about Christmas, so this year I’ve changed our instore seasonal greeting from ‘Merry Christmas’ to ‘Happy Holidays’

‘That’s an outrage’ said Palinpower ‘and I suppose you’ll have Father Holidays handing out Holidays presents to the kids and a choir singing Holidays carols’

‘Look’ said Walt ‘I run a competitive business here and if I don’t respond to the needs and attitudes of my customers I’ll miss out on my Christmas…uh…make that Holidays bonus’

‘Walt’ said Palinpower ‘let me tell you something. Christmas is about presents, puddings and goodwill to all men not just christians. By replacing ‘Merry Christmas’ with ‘Happy Holidays’ you’re denying everyone, not just kids, the unique feeling and excitement that is Christmas’

‘They still get all that’ said Walt ‘through our Happy Holidays promotions’

‘You’re kidding yourself’ said Palinpower ‘What they get is a Holidays stocking on Holidays Eve and then they open their Holidays presents on Holidays morning. It’s just not the same. And to cap it all off they get a Holidays holiday from school’

‘You’re just an old fuddy-duddy’ said Walt ‘Christmas is so twentieth century. This is the progressive twenty-first century and Toy Travesties is right up there with the times’

‘You’re just a Christmas killjoy’ said Palinpower ‘I’m going to nominate you for a Scrooge of the Year award and I’ll come and haunt you at night as the Ghost of Christmases Past’

‘Oh that sounds more interesting’ said Walt ‘For old times sake I’m not averse to getting into the spirit of things’

‘Ok’ said Palinpower ‘here’s the deal. If you replace ‘Happy Holidays’ with ‘Merry Christmas’ I’ll kiss you under the mistletoe’

‘I can’t do that’ said Walt ‘but if you had the true Christmas spirit you’d give me a festive kiss anyway’

‘You know’ said Palinpower ‘I’m beginning to understand why some people round here have gone off Christmas’

With that she was gone in a flash leaving Walt to ponder whether a bunch of mistletoe in his office might not be such a bad investment after all.