Friday Mash’s clinic for the electorally brain-damaged in South Carolina is reporting a sharp increase in the number of people seeking treatment. This is hardly surprising.

The electorate has been suffering Rick Santorum and Rick Perry criticising Mitt Romney for being a vulture capitalist when most people in South Carolina are either vulture capitalists or aspire to become one. Furthermore the two Ricks are vulture capitalists who would happily convert to socialism if it would guarantee them victory over Romney.

No wonder South Carolinians are suffering such mental disorientation. It’s like Lady Gaga turning up to head a recruitment drive for a nunnery.

On top of all that there’s Newt Gingrich claiming to be a paragon of marital and religious fidelity. Obama in all probability has already put all his ex-wives and ex-religions on contract to appear in his re-election campaign in case Newt wins the nomination .

Ron Paul has stunned everyone with his announcement that the day he assumes office he’ll cut a trillion dollars from spending. Now why on earth haven’t Obama and the Super Committee thought of that?

Jon Huntsman has decided that all this insanity is beyond him. The Friday Mash clinic has offered him a complimentary course of mental reorientation to help him return to a normal life.

According to the other Republican candidates the problem with Romney is he’s not a social conservative. This probably refers to the fact that despite being a Mormon he’s still only got one wife.

The campaign so far tends to support Sarah Palin’s decision not to run. She’s beginning to look a world-beater by comparison.

Friday Mash’s advice to South Carolinians is that the insanity won’t last but it is useful conditioning for the more extreme forms of insanity you’ll have to endure during the presidential campaign.

To protect yourself from this brain-polluting abuse Friday Mash’s clinicians recommend taking daily medicinal quantities of alcohol interspersed with periods of lying back and thinking of John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan.