Missionary Work
Labor politicians are prone to accusing Liberals of having ‘more positions than the Kama Sutra’. Surely it’s time to move on to ‘more positions than Silvio Berlusconi’.

Unspeakable
If Lionel Logue could sort out King George VI’s speech problems surely there’s another Aussie around who could help Julia.

Parting can be such sweet sorrow
Where was Moses when Queensland needed him?

Empty Nester
The floods seem to have washed away the surplus nest-egg from under the Queensland Swan.

Getting Hammered
Following their recent attacks on police, binge drinkers could be in real trouble. The police are more pissed than they are.

A Bob Brown Each Way
It’s so frustrating to hear the Greens crapping on about the perils of floods, bushfires and carbon emissions when their opposition to dams, fire-breaks and nuclear power is one of the main causes.

Behind Every Great Woman is a Great Hairdresser
Through thick and thin one man has devoted himself tirelessly to improving the face of Australia. In recognition of his brilliant blow-waves at 5am the Australian of the Year should be Tim Mathieson.