As George Clooney was relaxing in a Hollywood studio prior to going on set a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

As Al Gore was cleaning up his environment a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

Was it radiation from Fukushima or Obama trying to get even further away from Libya? No, it was Palinpower.

‘Hi Al’ said Palinpower ‘just dropped in for a chat on climate change’

‘Well Palinpower’ said Al ‘you’ve come to the right place. I am the world guru of climate change. No natural environmental disasters ever take place unless I forecast them first’

‘Look Al’ said Palinpower ‘just a small thing. You know your documentary ‘An Inconvenient Truth’, well I’d like you to rename it ‘The World’s Worst-Ever Weather Forecast’

‘You must be joking’ said Al ‘that documentary will go down in natural disaster history. It was a landmark production for which the world will be forever in my debt’

‘Oh yes!’ exclaimed Palinpower ‘what about the polar bears?’

‘Well I got that just slightly wrong’ said Al ‘Instead of dying they’re becoming very depressed’

‘Oh I see’ said Palinpower ‘they’re bipolar bears’

‘I got all the rest right’ said Al

‘I don’t think so’ said Palinpower ‘since you forecast all those droughts and soaring temperatures we’ve had nothing but huge snowstorms and freezing temperatures in Alaska’

‘Well actually’ said Al ‘I was talking about the real world in the twenty-first century not some medieval moose retirement home. Anyway Palinpower you wouldn’t admit there was global warming even if it caused your arse to catch fire. I have a vision for the future which is clean and green’

‘You mean like Shrek’ said Palinpower ‘after he’s had a shower?’

‘Very funny Palinpower’ said Al ‘but this is serious. In fifty years Alaska will be submerged under rising seas’

‘Ok’ said Palinpower ‘at that point I promise I’ll go green round the gills. Look Al you could have this carbon thing all wrong. If the weather warms up we’ll need less heating and emit less carbon and things could start to cool down’

‘It will be too late’ said Al ‘by that time the world will be doomed to over-heat’

‘Well if you feel that strongly’ said Palinpower ‘why don’t you operate a giant ice-making machine in Antarctica?’

‘My destiny’ said Al ‘is to be the harbinger of hellfire, hurricanes and general hell on earth’

‘Come on Al’ said Palinpower ‘you need to chill out a bit. How about relaxing to the music of Nat King Coal?’

‘Tell me’ said Al ‘how are you able to fly around without causing carbon emissions?’

‘Moose juice’ said Palinpower

‘Do you buy it at the supermarket?’ asked Al

‘No I shoot it’ replied Palinpower ‘By the way Al, I think your next documentary should be called ‘Global Warming the Hottest Thing in Town’

With that she was gone in flash leaving Al to ponder whether he could reduce his carbon footprint by taking moose juice instead of executive jets.