The Dear Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-il was having a moment of reflection on what further he could do to provoke the South Koreans when a flash of light streaked across the skies over Pyongyang and came to rest beside him.

Was it a Chinese cracker or a candle in the wind? No it was Palinpower.

‘I’ve come’ announced Palinpower ‘to force you to stop your dangerous war games’

‘Who the hell are you?’ asked the Dear Leader

‘I’m Palinpower’ she replied ‘When democracy is under threat anywhere in the world I’ll be there to protect it in my oddly naïve, homespun and amateurish ways which are beyond the comprehension of normal people’

‘Good’ said the Dear Leader’ then fly off to Seoul and tell them to pull their head in’

‘I am on the side of honour and freedom’ said Palinpower ‘while you’re one of those commies who think that democracy is the freedom to shoot and starve people’

‘You’re on the side of capitalism’ said the Dear Leader ‘which is a licence to coerce people into reading that ghastly book you’ve just published’

‘Let’s cut out the crap’ said Palinpower ‘unless you stop shooting at South Korea you will force me to return with Rambo’

‘Relax’ said the Dear Leader ‘I’ve just put my son in charge of the army and as a special treat I said he could celebrate by firing a few rounds at our cousins down South’

‘And I suppose you put your other son in charge of the navy’ said Palinpower ‘and his special treat was to sink a South Korean ship’

‘That was just an unfortunate mistake’ said the Dear Leader ‘we mistook it for a people smuggler boat’

‘I blame China for leading you astray’ said Palinpower ‘It’s about time you became a peace-loving nation like the US’

‘North Korea and the US are very similar’ said the Dear Leader ‘we’re both threatening to start the next Korean War’

‘If you don’t stop this belligerent behaviour’ said Palinpower ‘the US will be forced to take serious action’

‘Ha!’ said the Dear Leader ‘don’t try and kid me Obama will get tough. He’s apologised to every other country in the world and I’m not speaking to him until he apologises or preferably bribes me’

‘You’re nothing but a war-mongering warthog’ said Palinpower ‘I was going to send you an autographed copy of my new book but obviously it would be a waste of time. I’ll send it instead to someone who would really appreciate it’

‘Good idea’ said the Dear Leader ‘Send it to Al Gore for recycling. Look we’re only having a bit of fun with South Korea warning them not to become too far up themselves as they ponce around on exercises with the American fleet’

‘Ok’ said Palinpower ‘I’ll give you two days to knock it off. If you don’t I’ll be back with Rambo and the Terminator’

‘Oh no!’ said the Dear Leader ‘not Arnie. He could create as much chaos here as he’s done in California’

Then in a flash Palinpower was gone wondering to herself whether she should go back with Batman as well.