by Tori Banger

Showing His True Colours

Obama is now claiming he’s Irish. It must be a great relief for Ireland to find they’re in the black for a change.

No Second Time of Assing

The Queen is reported to have turned down a request to stage a repeat of the Royal Wedding during Obama’s visit. Princess Beatrice has already auctioned off her hat and it seems that Pippa has bottomed out.

Wedge Politics

Obama has apparently installed a mile high club on Air Force One. He uses it to practise his golf swings.

Forever in Their Debt

The key question surrounding Obama’s European Odyssey is whether he’s come on a mission to borrow money or whether he’s come to throw dollars at Ireland, the UK and France.

The richest, most powerful country in the world is $14 trillion in debt. Perhaps he’s come to reassure the Irish, the British and the French that they’re on the right track.