Yap No 34

‘Congratulations Big O’ I said ‘on the Usama bin Laden hit. I love it when a plan comes together’

‘Thanks Bo’ said Big O ‘but a lot of the credit belongs to you. We’d never have nabbed him if you hadn’t got on the dog and bone to your Afghan hound buddy in Abbottabad’

‘Oh you mean Blackie the Paki’ I said ‘he’s part of my canine confidential world network. We’ve always got our nose to the ground. Tell me was it your intention to capture UBL alive?’

‘Of course’ said Big O ‘He would have felt really at home in the Al Qaeda wing at Guantanamo Bay. It would have been just like getting back on to terror firma’

‘Did you give Pakistan any warning about the navy seals operation?’ I asked

‘Well sort of’ said Big O ‘I told them it was a film crew from Hollywood flying to Abbottabad to check out the Military Academy as a location for the next Police Academy movie’

‘How would you assess our current relationship with Pakistan?’ I asked

‘Off and on’ replied Big O ‘They always claim they’re on with us while they’re having it off with Al Qaeda’

‘By the way’ I asked ‘how did Charlie Sheen’s new show go down in Tripoli?’

‘He and Gaddafi got on really well’ said Big O ‘they were both absolutely bombed’

‘You know’ I said ‘the navy seals operation was so successful I think we should use it more often’

‘What do you have in mind?’ asked Big O

‘Well there are some obvious candidates for encores’ I said ‘like Gaddafi and Mitt Romney’

‘Very good thinking’ said Big O ‘what about Sarah Palin?’

‘They’re probably not ready for an assignment that challenging’ I said ‘but from time to time we could send them along to give Harry Reid a wake-up call’

‘Good idea’ said Big O

‘And I tell you what’ I said ‘ you could take them along to frighten the crap out of the Republicans next time you hold budget discussions with them’

‘Do you think it would be appropriate’ asked Big O ‘if I ordered the navy seals to take out Fox News?’

‘Well that’s reasonable’ I said ‘provided you can prove they’re involved in an Al Qaeda terrorist plot’

‘Yes you’re probably right’ said Big O ‘and on the other hand perhaps I shouldn’t be overdoing things by ordering too many navy seals raids’

‘Look at it this way’ I said ‘The presidential race in 2012 is going to get really dirty and if we’re forced to raid the Republican campaign HQ they’d do a much better job than that Watergate mob’