The Earth Shattering Outcomes if the US Doesn’t Raise the Debt Ceiling - USA Yesterday, Weekly Mash

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Obama will stop spending but only if his credit card gets cancelled
Politicians will be paid what they’re actually worth
Greece, Portugal, Ireland, the US and Dominique Strauss-Kahn will all be bailed out together
The President of Chad will send a message welcoming the US to the Third World
Mexico will protest to the UN about the hordes of US illegals pouring across their border
Al Qaeda will declare Guantanamo Bay an independent terrorist state
The Mexican drug cartels will have to reduce their prices
Anthony Weiner will be down to a bare minimum
Obama will shelve his scheme to tax the rich because there won’t be any left
The US dollar will be used worldwide to play monopoly
The only remaining unemployment benefit will be not having to do any work
Obama’s healthcare plan will be put on life support and anyone feeling ill will be advised to travel overseas
Debt collectors from China will seize furniture from the White House
North Korea will send food parcels
Obama will declare a new Remembrance Day to mark the passing of the US economy
The UK will offer to refight the War of Independence to get things off to a new start
All McDonalds outlets will be converted to McSoup Kitchens
Ben Bernanke’s mobile will be hacked by News Ltd but the messages will be too horrific to publish