Many of my readers have written in to say that they didn’t fully comprehend Obama’s address on the American Jobs Act and they would appreciate my interpretation of the essential points. I’m not sure I fully comprehended it either but here’s my best shot at a re-write.

My fellow Americans. I am proposing to spend almost half a trillion dollars to create more jobs by building roads, bridges and railways and giving small business a bit of a nudge.

There is one thing I want to make absolutely clear. This is not a stimulus package. The American Jobs Act is designed to create extra jobs. On the other hand the trillion dollar stimulus package was brilliantly successful in preventing job losses especially mine.

I haven’t got the faintest idea where the almost half a trillion is going to come from but I’ll be sure let you know next week.

My administration is confident however of identifying huge savings by not spending money as I’d planned when I mistakenly thought there was still some to spare.

I shall also levy extra taxes on the rich which will stop them creating jobs and enable me to do it instead using their money.

It is also proposed that I should reduce corporate tax to the point where it costs companies less to pay it than paying huge fees to lawyers and accountants for advice on how to avoid paying it.

If there’s anything in the American Jobs Act that concerns you don’t worry because the Republicans will never pass it. They want their mates in business to create the jobs and deny me the satisfaction of my socialist dogma being right for once.

We’ve got to stop this circus because I’m hopeless at juggling money.