As Marvin Madweather, the renowned image development consultant, was wondering what on earth he could do for Julian Assange a flash of light streaked across the New York skies and came to rest beside him

Was it a Wikileaks or the Christmas Star? No it was Palinpower.

‘Hi Marv’ said Palinpower ‘just flew in to get your help’

‘Hold on a minute’ said Marv ‘you can’t come busting in here like that when I have a six-month waiting list for an appointment’

‘Sorry Marv’ said Palinpower ‘I can’t wait that long. I’ve got to start running for president soon and my advisers tell me I need an urgent image makeover’

‘Well they got that right’ said Marv

‘Some people don’t like me apparently because I’m too assertive’ said Palinpower

‘That would be men most likely’ said Marv ‘like me’

‘Others don’t’ like me because I’m too sexy’ said Palinpower

‘That would be women mainly’ said Marv ‘and me again’

‘There’s a feeling I’m too Alaskan to be president’ said Palinpower

‘That’s understandable’ said Marv ‘moose appeal is not everybody’s cup of tea. And poleaxing a halibut on television wasn’t seen as very presidential especially in Cape Cod’

‘Ok then’ said Palinpower ‘what’s your considered opinion?’

‘Your problem’ said Marv ‘is that you make women jealous but you scare men to death’

‘I know’ said Palinpoewr ‘and gays hate me because I’m too straight and because I’m so American I’m hated by the rest of the world and California’

‘That’s not the worst of it’ said Marv ‘you’re a Tea Party conservative who is hated by Democrats, progressives, the loony-left liberals and in fact most people except Rambo’

‘Look’ said Palinpower ‘I know I can come across as a bit dumb but that’s a good look for a president isn’t it?’

‘Not any more’ said Marv ‘George W Bush killed off that theory. I suppose I could develop an image for you as a brilliant foreign policy specialist but that would only work so long as you weren’t interviewed on television’

‘I’ve got it’ said Palinpower ‘I should acquire an image as a patriot’

‘Not a good idea’ said Marv ‘with the mess the US is in at the moment everyone would know you’re kidding’

‘National security’ said Palinpower ‘The US needs a president to protect it from terrorists’

‘No no’ said Marv ‘Obama has made it unacceptable to mention the word terrorist’

‘Well dammit then’ said Palinpower ‘I’ll just stand for president as myself’

‘Come on’ said Marv ‘don’t give up hope. I could develop an image for you as a politician’

With that Palinpower was gone in a flash leaving Marv to ponder whether the politician thing was an over-promise.