‘I see you’ve appointed a new White House Chief of Staff’ I said ‘I trust he’s not absolutely barking like the last one’

‘No’ said Big O ‘I can only afford to have one barker on my staff’

‘I’m now the longest serving senior member of staff’ I said ‘I could make a fortune on the open market’

‘Don’t tell me’ said Big O ‘you plan to market a new take-away food product called the Doggy Bag. So what’s the hot topic of the day?’

‘I’m worried’ I said ‘The Greek economy is down the tubes so they got rid of Papandreou, the Italian economy is down the tubes so they got rid of Berlusconi. Guess where the US economy is going?’

‘You’re surely not inferring there’s a chance I’ll get the bum’s rush’ said Big O

‘There’s certainly a chance at the 2012 election’ I said ‘especially if they can find a GOP candidate that adds up. But if things get really desperate and it’s impossible to blame George W. Bush any longer then they might try and knife you before then. After all if Italy is too big to bail out we’ve got about as much chance as Bernie Madoff’

‘Jeez Bo’ said Big O ‘what can we do?’

‘First’ I replied ‘we’ve got to do something to fix the US Debt Clock. It’s either got to stop ticking or go into reverse’

‘Anything else?’ asked Big O

‘Yes’ I replied ‘for Pete’s sake stop lecturing the EU about getting a grip on its finances. Next thing we’ll have Arnie lecturing Herman Cain on the proper way to treat women’

‘It’s not the economy I’m really worried about’ said Big O ‘It’s jobs and whether anyone heard all the rest of the stuff I said about Netanyahu’

‘I think the trip to Australia next week will do you a power of good’ I said

‘Don’t tell me I’m walking into another financial crisis’ said Big O ‘and they’ll expect me to stump up some cash’

‘Relax’ I said ‘Australia is arguably the strongest western economy’

‘Oh good’ said Big O ‘do you think they could lend me some?’

‘Forget it’ I said ‘the only country besides China large enough to lend us meaningful amounts of money is ourselves and before you ask, no we haven’t got any either’

‘Remind me why I am going Down Under’ said Big O

‘Oprah Winfrey was a great success there last year’ I said ‘but she wasn’t available again this year so they booked you instead’

‘Is there anything special I’m supposed to do while I’m there?’ asked Big O

‘Yes’ I said ‘you’re planning to announce a new base for US marines down there’

‘Why am I doing that?’ asked Big O

‘Because’ I said ‘the Pentagon got mixed up between Australia and Afghanistan’