As John Boehner worked at his desk in the Speaker’s office a flash of llight streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him.

Was it the Middle East peace process going up in smoke or carbon emissions from Al Gore’s jet on a global warming flight. No, it was Palinpower.

‘Hi John’ said Palinpower ‘this is my day of destiny’

‘Don’t tell me’ said John ‘the Tea Party have appointed you chief stirrer’

‘The time has come’ said Palinpower ‘to make an historic decision about running for the presidency. I’ve come to you for some final advice’

‘Frankly’ said John ‘it never struck me that you were serious about running in the first place. I thought you were just kidding everyone along to sell a few books’

‘You bet I’m serious’ said Palinpower ‘I’ve got millions of loyal supporters begging me to run’

‘Let’s get really serious here’ said John ‘The problem with your supporters is they wouldn’t know an outstanding presidential candidate from an oversexed moose. If you announce you’re not standing at least there’s a chance they will vote for someone sensible’

‘The truth is’ said Palinpower ‘none of the other Republican candidates can match my policies on the economy and foreign affairs’
‘What exactly are your policies on the economy and foreign affairs?’ asked John

‘I’m slightly to the right of Reagan’ said Palinpower ‘ I’m in favour of rebuilding the Berlin Wall and putting it under the control of Wall St together with the Great Wall of China’

‘It is my considered opinion’ said John ‘that your talents are ideally attuned to roles other than the White House’

‘Such as what?’ asked Palinpower

‘Such as I can’t just think of anything just at the moment’ replied John ‘but probably something like economic adviser to Obama. You’re the only person I can think of who would lead him into a bigger mess than the one he’s in already’

‘But John’ said Palinpower ‘I’m the chosen one to restore honor to America. I’m the linebacker who will bring an end to Obama’s run by dumping him on his arse’

‘I have to admit Palinpower’ said John ‘that you’re a terrific rabble-rouser. You’d be a great asset on the campaign trail. I’ve got it. We’ll disguise you as Michele Bachmann and so give her candidacy twice the power. You and she could campaign on alternate days. No one would spot the difference because you both spout all that extreme Tea Party nonsense’

‘Great’ said Palinpower ‘and if Michele wins the presidency who would actually serve in the job, me or her?’

‘Both of you’ said John ‘I’ve always considered the role of president is too big for one person’

With that Palinpower was gone in a flash leaving John to ponder whether he should have suggested she alternate as Herman Cain instead.