This week Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall in Julia’s office when she discussed with Wayne the latest developments in the mining tax. Here is his exclusive report.

‘Help me Wayne’ said Julia ‘I always assumed that imposing a higher tax on miners would be simple. We impose it, they pay it. Now we’ve got another screw-up’

‘Well Julia’ said Wayne ‘it’s not that simple. If we impose it there’s a chance we could stuff the whole business by causing the mining companies to invest in other countries, then China could spit the dummy and we could end up getting two-thirds of four-fifths of stuff-all’

‘Who was the idiot who allowed that loophole in the original heads of agreement with the Big Three’ asked Julia ‘permitting them to pass on future new demands from the state governments to us?’

‘Actually that was you’ said Wayne ‘I tried to save your bacon by inserting a clause in a subsequent document when no-one was looking’

‘This is a right balls-up’ said Julia ‘First you and the Treasury miscalculate the RSPT by twelve billion and then I get accused of reneging on the MRRT. People will start thinking I’m as big a backslider as Kristina Keneally’

‘I’ve got my budget surplus in 2013 to think of’ said Wayne ‘I’m not going to stand by while Anna Bligh and Stephen Barnett nick it all’

‘Ok’ said Julia ‘let’s think about this. If we stopped negotiating and simply imposed the tax what’s the worst that could happen?’

‘The miners would go apeshit’ said Wayne ‘your poll numbers would go through the floor and my miraculous budget surplus would be just another remnant in the receptacle of broken election promises’

‘What if we just negotiate with the Big Three again’ asked Julia ‘and tell the rest of them to go and get shafted?’

‘Twiggy Forrest would go and get logged’ said Wayne

‘So what’s Don Angus and his transition policy group going to come up with?’ asked Julia

‘I think’ said Wayne ‘they’ll say that the MRRT should morph into cross between the BER and the ETS’

‘Do you think that we should get Penny to handle the mining tax from now on?’ asked Julia ‘after all she is the Finance Minister and I don’t know why you and I should get all the blame’

‘Great idea’ said Wayne ‘it’s about time you and I moved forward from all this’

‘I think we should concentrate more on the carbon tax’ said Julia ‘That’s what Bob Brown said in his list of instructions this week’

‘So Bob gets the blame for the carbon tax’ said Wayne ‘and Penny gets the blame for the mining tax. Brilliant’

‘And you get the blame’ said Julia ‘if there’s no budget surplus in 2013’

‘That’s unfair’ said Wayne ‘We agreed to blame Tony Abbott for wrecking everything’