Will Sarah Palin Run or Not?

As the Tea Party Conference was getting underway a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest on the speaker’s platform.

Was it more pie in the sky from Obama or was it a rocket he’d tried to stick up the economy but missed? No it was Palinpower.

‘Hello tea baggers’ yelled Palinpower ‘I’m here to talk to you about a personal matter’

The audience cheered and a voice from the back yelled ‘Well you’ve come to the right place because I’m a sex therapist’

‘The question is’ announced Palinpower ‘should I become a candidate for president of the United States?’

‘Why not’ yelled Hank ‘you couldn’t make a bigger mess of it than Obama’

‘You’ve left it a bit late’ called Daisy ‘we’re all supporting Michele Bachmann’

‘I know’ said Palinpower ‘but it should be valuable practise before you get down to some serious rooting for me’

‘We like Michele’ insisted Gerry ‘because she’s tough and what’s more I fancy her more than you’

‘That’s a joke right?’ asked Palinpower ‘If you fancy her more than me it’s you who should talk to the sex therapist. Michele may have titanium spine but I’m the hardest arse in politics. I never sit down anywhere unless it’s on a specially reinforced chair’

‘A lot of us are very impressed by Rick Perry’ said Harriet

‘Oh you mean the sheriff’ said Palinpower ‘well if he messes with me he won’t just be headed to the last round-up he’ll be carted off to Boot Hill’

‘Well what are you waiting for Palinpower?’ asked Hank ‘we’ve been waiting around for ages and you haven’t happened’

‘The problem is’ said Palinpower ‘there are some jelly-back jerkoffs in the Republican Party who believe my candidacy would be so divisive I’d attract more abuse than Arnie at a Kennedy family reunion’

‘But that shouldn’t stop you’ said Daisy

‘The Republican Party feel’ said Palinpower ‘that people hate me so much it could detract from the bucket-load of abuse they’re going to tip over Obama’

‘Well I think you should have a go’ said Harriet ‘I’m sick to death of abusing Obama. You’d make a nice change’

‘Listen Palinpower’ said Gerry ‘forget about running for president. If you got elected you’d have to get a passport and travel abroad. Then they’ll find you weren’t born in the US, you’re just a blow-in from Alaska’

‘Thank you for your support’ yelled Palinpower ‘together we’ll turn the Shite House back into the White House’

With that she took off leaving the Tea Baggers to pass a motion endorsing her candidacy because abusing her was the most fun they’d had in ages.