Election Sanity US explains why mental health is best preserved by not voting for anybody in the Republican primaries.
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Deep Thrombosis reveals how the Obama presidency looks from a sewage farm perspective.
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff discusses whether Newt is open for anything or just open marriage
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The Polliewatch team try to convert Mario from a technocrat to a politician
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Bo & Big O discuss whether the Keystone Pipeline project will lead to another major oil spill
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Election Sanity US describes how but for the efforts of Friday Mash’s emergency team the Republican Presidential campaign would be causing considerable brain malfunction in South Carolina
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Deep Thrombosis reveals Obama’s plan to hire loads of people to work on ways of reducing unemployment
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The Bush Blair Howard team takes action to stop Sarkozy creating calamities
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Election Sanity pursues its quest to prevent the Republican primaries causing brain damage to people other than the candidates.
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Bo takes firm control of Big O’s re-election campaign
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Election Sanity delivers the ultimate appraisal of the Iowa Caucuses
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The Friday Mash experts on world affairs have come together to produce their eagerly awaited official forecasts for 2012
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2011 has marked tremendous progress in my quest to convert the country into the United Socialist States of America
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In a further episode in the dog’s life of Bo Obama appoints him to become his re-election campaign manager
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In an inspired initiative to resolve the EU crisis the Polliewatch team confront David Cameron
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USA Yesterday reveals what’s top of Obama’s Christmas Present Wish List
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The Polliewatch principals Bush Blair Howard try to stir up Palin to enter the race for president but get more than they bargained for.
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Chapter 2 of this pulsating new series reveals that the Plumbers Unit has started operations
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P.E.Doff bravely tries to make sense of the campaign for the Republican nomination
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Bo & Big O discuss how making more of a BALLS of international affairs could be beneficial
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Friday Mash is proud to introduce Deep Thrombosis, a brilliant new series tracing the revelations of a clot at the heart of the Obama government
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P.E. Doff explains why the Democrats are recruiting increasing numbers of harassed housewives to their campaigns against Republican presidential hopefuls
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The Bush Blair Howard team take on their second world-changing Polliewatch case which involves the almost impossible task of instructing Karzai on the implementation of world best political practice
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In a brilliant new series Friday Mash will follow the principals of Polliewatch, Bush, Blair and Howard in their quest to persuade leading politicians to adopt world best political practice
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff reflects on whether Herman’s career as President of Godfather Pizza is the ideal experience to become president of the US
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Bo advises Big O about whether he will catch up with the US economy during his visit down under
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff explains why Herman Cain’s chances of becoming president are far from slim
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Michele Bachmann has great difficulty in understanding that her best chance of becoming president is to follow Palinpower’s advice
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Bo advises Big O on how to tackle climate change and still get re-elected
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff welcomes Herman Cain’s attempt to lend legitimacy to the US presidential campaign by introducing sex
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P.E.Doff reports on a landmark Q&A session between Jay Carney the President’s White House Press Secretary and the White House Correspondents
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Bill uses Friday Mash to air his latest thoughts on the race for the presidency in 2012
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Bo and Big O discuss whether it is more vital to protect future generations from the effects of global warming or the prognostications of Al Gore
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Palinpower finally finds a role in the presidential race
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P.E.Doff discusses whether sending the Rev Wright to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict would be a blessing
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Bo and Big O discuss whether an addiction to spending affects cash flow
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff reports that the US is still leading the world and therein lies the problem
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Palinpower visits John McCain who wonders like the rest of us why she doesn’t make up her bloody mind about running for president
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USA Yesterday assesses the Solyndra situation
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Bo & Big O bemoan the fact that no-one’s yet come along with the odd fourteen trillion to help the US make ends meet
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P.E.Doff gives his own expert interpretation of Obama’s address on the American Jobs Act in case you misunderstood it incorrectly
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A delegation from the Tea Party pleads with Palinpower to enter the presidential race and ensure that Obama doesn’t manage to stop the circus
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P.E.Doff gives an unusually sober analysis of the Republican candidates for president
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Bo & Big O discuss the presidential address to Congress on jobs and whether more people would watch if he delivered it at the Packers-Saints game at half-time
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff explains why Obama could be the last US President
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Palinpower drops in on a Tea Party meeting to discuss whether or not she should run for President just in case anyone’s still interested
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P.E.Doff secures a landmark interview with George and finds out how ratty he really is about being blamed for everything by Obama
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Bo & Big O discuss how they’re going to come up with a jobs plan by September
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff outlines the pros and cons of Sarah Palin entering the presidential race
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Palinpower drops in on Harry Reid in an effort to persuade him to put her on the Super Committee
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Bo explains to Big O that his best chance of re-election is to bludge for the next fifteen months
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The only viable options left for the US to maintain some semblance of order
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In his USA Yesterday column P.E.Doff believes Obama’s main problem is being unable to stop the leaking
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As Deven Sharan the President of Standard and Poor’s was working furiously at his desk a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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Bo & Big O conspire brilliantly to solve the debt ceiling crisis
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USA Yesterday explores how the changing shades of Obama’s hair are colouring political opinion
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As Jay Carney, Obama’s press secretary, was taking questions from correspondents in the White House briefing room a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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Christine Milne claims that the US and China will follow our lead on the carbon tax. They’ve probably already asked Lord Monckton for his advice.
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Obama will stop spending but only if his credit card gets cancelled Politicians will be paid what they’re actually worth Greece, Portugal, Ireland, the US and Dominique Strauss-Kahn will all be bailed out together The President of Chad will send a message welcoming the US to the Third World Mexico will protest to the UN [...]
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USA Yesterday reveals Obama’s daring economic strategy to win the 2012 election
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‘You know Bo’ said Big O ‘I’ve just had a terrible shock’
‘Don’t tell me’ I said ‘that Ahmadinejad has invited you over to Tehran for Christmas’
‘No’ he said ‘much worse.
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USA Yesterday reveals exclusively that Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin could be one and the same person
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Palinpower talks to Steven Spielberg about her agonising choice between becoming president or a movie star
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Bo and Big O discuss how to make future wars more disarming
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P.E. Doff reports on why Sarah Palin went off the idea of campaigning in the Sudan
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USA Yesterday spots the difference between Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin
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Palinpower consults Arnie about why her campaign for president seems to have reached a bus-stop
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P.E.Doff reflects on the extraordinary trend amongst US politicians to have an extra family on the side
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Julia must have been thrilled to see so many at the ‘Say Yes to the Carbon Tax’ rally. She’s probably granted them all asylum by now
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Bo checks with Big O about how all the other animals around the White House are faring
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Two critical questions are dominating political discourse in the US. Does the president realise that if he lifts the debt ceiling much more he’ll forever be known as Owebama
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As Mac the plumber was sipping a heart starter in his favourite downtown Boston coffee shop he was suddenly confronted by a dynamic vision of womanhood
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I was just settling down in my kennel to read the New York Times online when the phone went. Only two people have my number – apart from my secret canine concubine – and I knew Barney was away beating about the Bushes. It had to be Big O
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Apparently he’s less than impressed with all the surprise visits his country’s been copping recently. The navy seals were a huge shock but Usama bin Laden had been there five years and hadn’t even bothered to get in touch
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Palinpower gets some great advice from George W Bush which she probably won’t take
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A Pillow Slip from Tori Banger reveals why the Queen didn’t agree to a rerun of the Royal Wedding during Obama’s visit
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The US debt has reached its ceiling leaving the government with a number of options. If it’s a glass ceiling they can get Oprah Winfrey to break through it
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Last Saturday was apparently not the end of the world. The doomsday cult will have to realise that will come with the carbon tax
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Congratulations Big O’ I said ‘on the Osama bin Laden hit. I love it when a plan comes together’
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I was so thankful that Fergie didn’t get invited to the wedding. There’s a strong chance that she and Gary would really have hit it off and that would have led to the News of the World selling like hot cakes, the Queen having another ‘Annus Horribilis’ and the Middleton family being lucky ever to see the inside of the Palace again
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Urgent action is needed to unearth a new star before someone starts fertilising another Bush
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As Michael said to me the other day ‘Carole’ he said ‘who would have thought it, our Kate a Duchess’
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5 Reasons why Obama didn’t get invited to the Will and Kate Wedding and the latest Usama bin Laden Rumours
Read more(Australian) Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall at Kirribilli House when Julia hosted a dinner for heads of industry to discuss the carbon tax
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Was it Obama’s Royal Wedding invitation which had got lost in the mail or the US deficit bursting through its ceiling? No it was Palinpower
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(United Kingdom) Tori Banger shares with Friday Mash all the goss she has learned from her intimate rendezvous with her Tory friends
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The Republicans have not been dealt a strong hand of candidates for the 2012 presidential election
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(Europe) Friday Mash Experts Answer the 20 Questions about the Carbon Tax which you haven’t dared ask in case you were called a Sceptic or a Denier
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As an extreme left-wing group was assembling to stage a counter-demonstration against a Tea Party rally a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside them
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Before they climb onto detention centre roofs asylum seekers are being advised to check whether they’ve been insulated by Peter Garrett
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Julia is planning to visit tsunami-devastated areas in Japan. Hopefully it won’t be as big a disaster as her visit to flood-ravaged Queensland
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‘Look Bo’ said Big O ‘I don’t mind telling you that the fourteen trillion dollar debt is a bit of a worry’
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Friday Mash’s peerless team of political analysts came together recently to make a detailed assessment of whether Julia is delivering on her election promise of ‘Moving Forwards’
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Many people have contacted me to request a clear explanation of how the carbon tax will work for Australia
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As Michele Bachmann was seated at her desk in Washington penning another vitriolic anti-Obama diatribe a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside her
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Guy the Fly was menaced by cockroaches as he perched on the wall of a Chinese restaurant to listen in on Bill Shorten, Mark Arbib and Paul Howes
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France has arrested two women for covering up their faces but a student at ADFA is going to face the music because, like everything else, his face was in full view
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George Osborne’s budget is the latest in a series of government initiatives to reverse Gordon Brown’s plan to adapt the UK economy to the Greek model
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The country can take pride in the fact that the two greatest leakers in the world are both Australians, Julian Assange and Kevin
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Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was perched on a wall above Morris Iemma, Nathan Rees and Kristina Keneally when they met to discuss the outcome of the NSW election
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What are we going to do about Gaddafi? Our mission is to stop Gaddafi knocking off civilians so obviously the best solution is to fire a rocket propelled grenade right up his wind generator
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As Al Gore was cleaning up his environment a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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At the next No Carbon Tax Rally Tony should stand in front of a sign saying ‘My only bitch is the carbon tax’
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(Australian) Kristina says she’s still pursuing the light on the hill. Experts are checking to see whether it’s the radiation from Fukushima
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Obama decides to take a stance on Libya
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It was such an honour helping Jools represent Australia in Washington. My assignment was to play the role of every American’s image of an Aussie by saying ‘g’day’ to everybody and talking about my experiences wrestling crocodiles
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In her address to the US Congress Julia told them they have a good friend in Australia. Apparently they’re keen to find out who it is
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(Australian) Guy the Fly was preparing to drop in on Gaddafi but then he heard that Libya could become a no-fly zone so instead he flew onto a wall to overhear a strategic discussion between Bob Brown and Christine Milne, leader and deputy leader of the Greens
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As George Clooney was relaxing in a Hollywood studio prior to going on set a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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Kevin now has a higher approval rating than Julia as preferred prime minister. This means she’s even worse at implementing his policies than he was
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I’ve met Tony Abbott on the odd occasion and I must say he didn’t seem to be all that bad sort of a chap. Not the sort who would fit in easily at our pub lunches but perhaps the sort who in different circumstances would have made a very effective union leader
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Republicans are such a soulless lot said Big O during our weekly policy review meeting. They’re trying to make me cut spending right down to the bone
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(Australian) The carbon tax is designed to make us give up things which use too much power and cost too much like Julia and Kristina
Read moreGuy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall last week in a parliament house conference room for a meeting of the climate change committee comprising Julia, Wayne, Bob Brown, Christine Milne, Greg Combet, Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott. He’s just buzzed in with his exclusive report.
Read moreAs Felipe Calderon was attending to matters of state in his presidential office in downtown Mexico City a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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(Europe) Research indicates that the Australian Sex Party could achieve a significant membership boost if they opened a bunga bunga faction
Read moreAs Mitt Romney sat at his desk writing his next ‘why I should be president’ speech a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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US national debt: the US is still looking good because there will always be countries falling over themselves to lend us money
Read moreOn a wall of Tony Abbott’s office in Canberra when he met Julie Bishop and Joe Hockey to discuss reports of unrest within the Coalition
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(Australian) While in NZ Julia reportedly took time out to study the sheepdog trials. She’s counting on Afghan Hound Tony to intimidate the Independents and the Greens into consistently coming into her sheep-pen
Read moreAs Hosni Mubarak was working at his desk in the presidential palace a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
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On a wall in Hillary Clinton’s office in Washington DC when she was discussing the Egyptian crisis with her deputy James Steinberg
Read moreThere could be an opportunity for Kristina to move to Egypt after the state election. Protesters there believe that even her government would be an improvement on Mubarak
Read moreStand by for Bob Brown to point out that this hot weather is the fault of the mining companies. Come to think of it the mining companies were certainly the cause of Bob Brown.
Read moreOn a wall in Julia’s office to overhear her conversation with Wayne about budgetary matters
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The annual wages bill from employing fourteen and a half million people at $750 a week is $56.7 billion and that’s a lot less than the trillions you’re currently splashing out
Read moreWas it a Christmas light gone feral or a Peyton Manning hail mary? No it was Palinpower.
Read moreLabor politicians are prone to accusing Liberals of having ‘more positions than the Kama Sutra’. Surely it’s time to move on to ‘more positions than Silvio Berlusconi’
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Big O and I were having a debriefing session on the visit of Hu Jintao the Chinese President
Read moreGuy the Fly went back to the future to overhear a discussion between Noah and his missus about preparing another Ark project in case the whole of Australia becomes inundated by floods
Read moreGuy the Fly was on a wall at the MCG overhearing a discussion between two members of the Aussie Test Selection Committee, Andrew Hilditch the chairman and Greg Chappell
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It is unfortunate that our Founding Fathers conferred the right for all Americans to carry arms. It means that guns can be carried even by people who can’t be trusted with them like Dick Cheney
Read moreJulia was at the SCG last week primed for an impressive demonstration of decision and delivery. Alas she wasn’t asked to umpire or do any bowling
Read moreAs Julian Assange sat at the computer in his English hideaway, fingers poised above the keyboard ready to release more sensational Wikileaks into the blogosphere, a flash of light streaked across the skies above and came to rest beside him
Read moreKristina’s got a $1.5 billion war chest but it is not worth as much as Angelina’s million dollar bust
Read moreGuy the Fly managed to fly to Santa’s North Pole and overhear the Elf in the complaints department was taking a call from Kevin
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That makes you one of the most successful lame ducks in history
Read moreForever vigilant in our quest to preserve freedom of speech and your right to know Friday Mash has created DickyLeaks because we don’t know what else to do with all the secret government communications that are floating around
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Thank you for the leftovers from the White House Christmas Party
Read moreGuy the Fly on the wall of a Canberra coffee shop when Mark Arbib met clandestinely with Mitch from the US Embassy to brief him about plans to stab Kevin
Read moreThe Australian cricket selectors didn’t react quickly enough. Shane Warne got recalled by Liz Hurley instead
Read moreAs Walt Snerd manager of the Toy Travesties store was hard at work at his desk planning for the seasonal shopping surge a flash of light streaked across the skies above
Read moreIn order to avoid misunderstandings and make for a much more efficient operation Julian Assange has proposed that in future he should be copied on all secret government communications
Read moreAs Marvin Madweather, the renowned image development consultant, was wondering what on earth he could do for Julian Assange a flash of light streaked across the New York skies and came to rest beside him
Read moreI hope there’s nothing about me in that Wikileaks stuff
Read moreMichael Lee has reportedly clinched the presidency of the NSW ALP by committing to vote for them at the March election.
Read moreGuy the Friday Mash Superfly was on an office wall in Canberra when Julia was persuading Nick Xenophon to vote for the bill to tear up Telstra
Read moreThe Dear Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-il was having a moment of reflection on what further he could do to provoke the South Koreans when a flash of light streaked across the skies over Pyongyang and came to rest beside him
Read moreMembers of federal parliament have been directed to consult their constituents about gay marriage. Even if they are successful no-one seems to know when the ceremonies will take place
Read moreGuy the Fly winged his way to a luxury penthouse suite in Jakarta to listen in on a special meeting of the people smugglers corporate policy committee
Read moreIt has suddenly become obligatory before boarding a plane in the US that you either submit yourself to a sexual assault or a full body exposure
Read moreWas it an air traveller going it alone after refusing to be groped or scanned at the airport or an alien from another planet? No it was Palinpower from Alaska.
Read moreWhat you must do is persuade Americans that the Republican Party is a bigger threat to the country than China
Read moreOn a wall in Tony Abbott’s office this week when he was holding a political strategy meeting with Julie Bishop and Joe Hockey
Read moreDon’t you dare press that ‘Start’ button on the printing machine’ said Palinpower ‘If you do I’ll come straight back to kick you in the futures exchange. The bucks stop here
Read moreGuy the Friday Mash Superfly was well positioned on a wall in Melbourne to overhear a discussion between Hillary Clinton and Tim Mathieson
Read moreEveryone’s nuts about cricket
Read moreAs Karl Rove sat at his desk devising another diabolical Republican strategy, a flash of light streaked across the sky, slipped in through the building entrance and came to rest beside him – Palinpower
Read moreObama is supremely confident that the US economy will come back in 2011 and there’s a bright future ahead for committed Democrats like Bo & Big O
Read moreGuy the Friday Mash Superfly travelled to a wall in Hanoi to listen in on a conversation between Julia and Ban Ki Moon, the UN Secretary-General
Read moreUS Vice-President Joe Biden was sitting in his garden smelling the roses when a flash of light streaked across the sky
Read moreGuy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall in Julia’s office when she discussed with Wayne the latest developments in the mining tax
Read moreThings are getting desperate for the mid-term elections for Barack Obama
Read moreAs a group of Hispanic illegals approached the Mexico Arizona border a flash of light streaked across the sky and came to rest on the wall which stood in their way
Read more‘My poll numbers are in the toilet’ said Big Obama
Read moreOn a wall in Julia’s office when she spoke on the phone to the UK Prime Minister David Cameron
Read moreOn a wall in Delhi where he listened in on a review meeting of the Commonwealth Games Organising Committee
Read moreAs Timothy Geithner, the US Secretary of Treasury, was working in his office a streak of light swept across the sky, shot through his window and came to rest in front of his desk
Read moreChange we can believe in. Kick Obama out
Read moreA flash of light streaked across the sky. Was it a carbon emission, a UFO or a tattered old ‘Yes we can banner?’ No it was Palinpower
Read moreRahm Emanuel is leaving. He has done great work in breaking down the old Washington establishment
Read moreAfter Obama had moved into the White House and George and I had retired to stud
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Kevin’s been knifed – I had a good cry, a couple of gin and tonics and pulled myself together
Read moreWho do you think will be the Republican Party’s presidential nominee in 2008?
Read moreGeorge Bush really stuffed the New Orleans disaster. I don’t know what got into him.
Read moreStory No. 35 ‘George’ I said ‘this is serious’ I was enjoying a break with the Bushes at their ranch in Crawford, Texas when I heard the bad news about New Orleans on Fox. ‘Oh I don’t know Barney’ said George ‘our Federal Emergency Management Agency will deal with it. I don’t think we should [...]
Read more‘Let’s face it George’ I said ‘Iraq and Afghanistan are both train wrecks’
Read moreBarney is the codename for an agent under deep cover in the Middle East
Read moreBarney’s bite is much worse than my bark
Read moreStory No. 31 ‘Now then Barney’ said George ‘I need your advice on my Inauguration Speech. I was thinking about a triumphal address with the theme ‘bury Kerry and downwards with Edwards’ ‘Come on George’ I said ‘this is no time to be vindictive. It calls for magnanimity in victory. Kerry and Edwards may be [...]
Read moreWe’ve got to do something about this country’s image abroad. They all think the US is a pack of arrogant, warmongering, overbearing bullies
Read more‘Congratulations George’ I said ‘on your re-election. I cant’ believe so many people voted for Kerry. And as for John Edwards he couldn’t get a gig as a gigolo in a sex addiction clinic for women’
Read moreGeorge was never much of a one for going abroad. He believed that everything good and great in the world was either in Washington or Texas
Read moreStory No: 27 ‘Do you know Barney’ said George ‘there are people around who think I’m not going to win this election’ ‘Thank heavens’ I thought to myself ‘he’s finally got the message’ George had been living in the White House cocoon for months signing papers and chatting to other heads of state and blissfully [...]
Read moreBush is Republican candidate for a second term as president. I need your help with my acceptance speech
Read moreBush in the face of an election
Read moreStory No: 24 I was spending a week or two down at George’s ranch in Crawford Texas. Nice spread. The food was delicious, all fresh and no canned, and there were plenty of places I could sniff around. George always needed to have one of his top advisers handy. ‘Barney’ said George one beautiful spring [...]
Read moreMy cunning plan is for you to pretend to be a CIA agent on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border
Read moreI’m delivering the State of the Union Address in a couple of weeks. Any ideas about what I should say?
Read morePlease pass on my regards to the Queen’s corgis while you’re at the Palace
Read moreGeorge Bush plans for his 2004 presidential campaign
Read moreStory No. 19 George was extraordinarily fortunate to have me as his senior adviser. Dogs can sniff around and pick up bits of stuff that other advisers miss completely. And I had a real nose for people. ‘George’ I said one day in the middle of an intense discussion about health policy ‘its time for [...]
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