Oh What a Feeling

There are sectors of the community such as rugby league wives and George W Bush supporters who seem destined to suffer more of life’s privations than others. And then there are NSW motorists.

Standout NSW road developments in the modern era include the alternate three-lane two-lane design for the F3 which is capable of creating interminable delays even on light traffic days, the cross-city tunnel which made Sydney very cross indeed and the M5 tunnel with the endemic characteristics of gridlock and toxic shock.

The people responsible for these breath-taking initiatives have never received the acclaim they deserve for their role in promoting the use of public transport. Unfortunately their achievements have been overshadowed by the extraordinary contributions from NSW public transport executives to promoting travel by car.

During peak traffic periods it costs twenty times more to drive across the Sydney Harbour Bridge than it did thirty years ago. That means the government is compounding its failure to provide sufficient trans-harbour road capacity by charging a congestion toll. This is like the Sydney Football Stadium not providing enough entrances and charging extra for queuing.

Traffic Chaos: Photo Provided by Daily Telegraph

Motorists have become a prime government cash cow. The NSW Government recently reduced the demerit point dump on erring motorists realising that if too many are disqualified from driving at the same time they could go broke.

The autobahns in Germany are arguably still the nearest anyone’s come to building safe high-speed motorways. It’s a pity the NSW Roads and Traffic Authority didn’t have the vision in the nineteen-thirties to employ Hitler as their Roads Development Officer.

Both Morris Iemma and Nathan Rees have been guilty of driving NSW Roads and Traffic policy without due care and attention when following a Carr.

Following the huge build-up in traffic congestion and the realisation that the North-West Metro is nothing more than a ghost train, inhabitants of Sydney’s North-Western suburbs are facing the reality that the only way they can commute to the CBD is by taking up marathon running.

Sydney Marathon, Photo sourced from SMH

There is a growing sense in the community that the traffic light system in Sydney is controlled by a terrorist organisation. In most cities traffic lights are regulated to facilitate traffic flow. In Sydney they are regulated to make motorists stop and waste as much time as possible. This is thought to be a new terrorist tactic to break the will of the community by inculcating utter despair. Traffic lights may have become the new terrorist IEDs, insidious extended delayers.

Motorists can look forward to vehicles which reach a maximum speed of 40kph powered by olive oil and speed cameras becoming redundant. The cameras will be replaced by carbon emissions detectors which will impose merciless fines on motorists whose vehicles leave carbon tyreprints.

As the federal and state governments bicker over which of them is more culpable for the condition of the NSW roads infrastructure they can take heart that when they finally bring all traffic in the state to a gridlocked standstill they will receive acclaim for a traffic calming programme which is the envy of the world.

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